My ponderings have been few and far between lately. Not something I'm proud of but I am here now. Sometimes I am not sure how to start a post. Especially when I am feeling down in the dumps. I know I know something a Christian shouldn't be or at least shouldn't speak about publicly (according to some).
I am here I am bummed and I am trying to work through it because I can't put my finger on everything I am feeling, it started a while ago. Okay more precisely on my birthday when I was puking at 12:00 Am first thing on Nov 17. My loving husband did everything he could to make the day better. Including him calling in at work and taking the day off. That's about the highlight of my entire 30th birthday.
My parents didn't even call and wish me a happy birthday. When I saw them on Fri that week Mom asked me how it went. That was IT!!
I have been finding myself tearing up thinking about Christmas this year and still haven't figured out why. It's all so annoying, I am not a sentimental person. I don't even cry at movies. I didn't cry at my Grandfather's funeral (he was very sick and a believer so I know he's definitely better off).
I am also dealing with the fact that I seem to be getting a deeper conviction of how to live. This has created a bit of tension between me and family members. It hurts that people have no issues with teasing me about my convictions and now I am considered "old" (BTW if any of you that have called me this are reading this I am sorry. I am not angry or holding a grudge. Just hurting).
So yeah, Thanksgiving was awful, truly awful. I have done the best that I can to be truly grateful for what God has given me which is a lot. I love that I have a great home, two of the sweetest children and a wonderful husband. I am desperately trying to focus on these things.
Sorry for the blubbering.
No comments:
Post a Comment