On a serious topic- Proper biblical submission

This is a study I did on my own regarding the topic of biblical submission in marriage. As we all know this is one of the most controversial topics among the world and the church, but, WHY? Why is it easier to "love our neighbors as ourselves" than it is to "be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior."? Why is it that we can trust God with our finances by donating to charity and church but we can't keep our actions chaste? How come we can talk about serving the family of God when our husbands are being disrespected at every turn? How come we tell our children to respect their teachers etc and we can't show respect to their Dad when we're home together as a family? How hypocritical can we be? The word most commonly translated submit or subjection is hupotasso. Hupotasso is a military term used to signify a surrender on a battle field. It’s non military usage is different. It can mean any of the following depending on context: Arrange under Yield to admonition or advice Obey Hupotasso, as it relates to members of the church interacting with each other is "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden."  When Paul instructs the Ephesians to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" it is clear that he is speaking the sense of "arranging under" or "yield to admonition or advice" He isn’t telling people to obey each other. In 1Cor 16:16 when Paul calls on the Corinthians to submit to "everyone who cooperates in the work" it is clear there is no sense of hierarchy. 18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. 19 For this [finds] favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a man bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer [for it] you patiently endure it, this [finds] favor with God. 21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, 22 WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; 23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting [Himself] to Him who judges righteously; 24 and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 25 For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. 1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 And let not your adornment be [merely] external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but [let it be] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. 6 Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. (1 Peter 2:18-3:6) Practical application in scripture 1 If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; 4 do not [merely] look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:1-4). Pitfalls of displaced submission 2:15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him, 2:16 because all that is in the world (the desire of the flesh and the desire of the eyes and the arrogance produced by material possessions) is not from the father but is from the world. 2:17 And the world is passing away with all its desires, but the person who does the will of GOD remains forever. (1 John 2:15-17) 12:1 Therefore I exhort you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a sacrifice – alive, holy, and pleasing to God – which is your reasonable service. 2 Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God – what is good and well-pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2) A book I recently read said this.... “Some women worry that putting their husbands in charge of their family is risky because they do not trust him to do a good job”. In light of these verses the trust has little to do with that of your husband but a lack of faith in the fact that GOD put him in charge of you and your family . When you do not trust that your husband is doing things properly you are NOT trusting in GOD who created this union that you are in. In the definition of submission that is represented in the scriputres referencing Wives and Husbands we find the answer as Arrange under, Yield to admonition or advice. When we align ourselves with our husbands we are following God's plan. When we whole heartedly follow God's plan for our lives the joy that abounds is greater than the denying to ourselves that results. Our sinful selfishness gets in the way of a bountiful blessed life with our spouses.